I work too hard sometimes. Lots of times. I try too hard to make a point or change things, specifically the minds of others. Then I'll usually tell others to...not do that.
TLDR: I'm making videos again.
LR...DT? I actually don't know what TLDR even means. Clearly. But I know how to use it. Do you have words like that? Anyway... Longer story: I'm getting back on youtube (and other platforms that work for me) and doing mostly let's play videos and variety spots, each about 10-15 minutes in length on average. Here's why...
I plan to make a living off fandom, off celebrating the work of others so in turn I can make my own content. Being stoked on others is a strength of mine, so why not make it a career?
Here's the schedule in my head: two videos a day, all week, most of which will be lets plays and two of which will be a vlog and some kind of live action hoosafudge. There' nothing earth shattering here as everyone and their mother is using this format, but there's a reason for that. It works. It's an easy way to build your library and showcase your personality while leaving plenty of time to work on whatever else during your week.
SIDE NOTE: Here's the channel as it is... Click it! chknfoot TV
The change - now vs. then - is that I'm open to change. I tried way too hard to force jokes and make a brand and so on and whatever. Now, I'm much more open to just doing the thing and evolving. See, the purpose is to use whatever popularity base to make something they and I want, eventually leading to a studio and business to help others achieve their dreams while I achieve mine. So it's chknfoot TV now, but maybe it's not later. Maybe our color-scheme changes, maybe I get a partner or it becomes a network. I have no idea. But I'm excited.
More on all this later. There will be a video soon all about it. Or at least more. It will be me jibbering, so it may be sorta incoherent, albeit well intentioned.
I'm happy and driven and stoked to share. More than anything I'm really happy to have something that will teach me how to have a professional schedule. Dreams.
Love ya.
Have the best day you've ever had.
Andrew
I sure hope I'm not dead inside. Okay, that's dramatic. I'm not dead inside, I'm fearful that I've lost something important that I feel partially defines me: my love to play. I've sort of forgotten how, and I think it's been a long while now that I've been this way, and I'm only now able to admit it. First step and all that...
DISCLAIMER: This is a working things out post. It might not make a lot of sense. The sound of keys clicking helps me focus and evaluate my goings on and such.
It's such a strange thing to sit at my computer and strive so hard to find some game, any game, just because I tell myself that I want to play something. I'm forcing it, forcing play, and that's sort of crazy. I can't think of any other facet of my life that I try so hard to do. I either do or do not, I don't try or work so hard to do anything the way that I push having fun; specifically with video games.
I know I still love them. I love my games. But I find myself skipping cut scenes, missing out on good chunks of lore, hearty bits of story that I could learn from. That worries me.
Maybe I'm unhappy? I'm pretty darn content with most things in my life, though I must admit that I feel out of sorts creatively. I've always been creative, imaginative, yet lately I feel dull. I'm boring to myself. I can't seem to create anything I'm proud of for a couple of years now. I can't seem to enjoy the work. I'm trying too hard.
It's fear. I'm afraid of failure. So why try. It's horse-nuts. Grade A. Can't fail if you never try, though you can define that in of itself a failure to live.
I wish I never realized my mortality. I sure miss the days when I thought I was immortal, my time unending. Oh well. I'm human these days. Maybe there's something there.
I'm going to learn the piano, my first lesson in little over two weeks. Maybe that will feel good.
I am mostly happy. But this whole forgetting how to play thing has me a bit scared, and when I get scared I get sedentary. My ass hurts from sitting. My stomach hurts from devouring the work of others. I'm tired. I think I'll sleep.
Thanks for sticking with me, Brain. I feel better now. Let's get to work on letting ourselves off the hook and letting life happen. Maybe that's how we'll play again.
Processing piece over.
Have the best night you've ever had.
Andrew
PS. The universe is a hologram. Buy gold.
PPS. Or not. We're all in this together. The universe is pretty cool. And if it's a hologram, then choose to bend light and make it what you will.
