I'm a bit of a coward. Not on most things that truly matter, of course. I'm great with friends, family, seeking knowledge, survival, but I'm a coward when it comes to owning up to income and becoming successful. I'm amazing when it comes to uplifting those around me, but dear lord, am I ever shite at growing to the level of my dreams.
With all of that little in mind, I'm going to try to keep myself honest and admit the failings that I get, in the hopes that sharing said foibles will help me get over myself and move forward.
Starting small: my credit card spending was roughly over $2200 last month. Most of that was restaurants. Not rent or supplies or funding for hobbies/passions, just sandwiches, food carts, thai food etc. Yes, some of it was useful, but most was laziness or fear based food spending. I don't have that kind of money. Am I embarrassed? Yup. Will I get over it? Yup.
Something I'm not proud of: I get afraid of people sometimes. It sucks. I will be in my home, hungry and can easily walk across the street to the supermarket and grab fixins for a meal, but won't. I will be afraid of the outside world, afraid of just interacting. And yes, my supermarket is just across the street, barely three hundred feet from my apartment door. It's not all the time, but it does happen. All of my passions (with the exception of writing) are requisite on interaction with folk, so additional interaction at times becomes scary. I only have so much willpower and I'm usually spent by the time I get freaked out. My average daily food spending was roughly $30. That sucks. I'm also fudging that number, not wanting to do the math, which is for rich people (not accurate).
This whole new schedule thing, however, is helping pretty darn swiftly. If I can get a handle on a week, I can plan when and how I will spend my willpower, when to get my errands done etc.
A few days in, and I've only eaten at Subway 1 time due to a cramp in my planning. Oh well. $6.50 is a damn sight better than $30. I've also had 4 green juices this week. Green juice is the only thing I'm allowing myself to regularly purchase as it is a pain in the ass to juice things on my own, and is a healthy choice that sustains me but good. SO, math: Roughly only spent about $30 (fudging again) since Monday. Better. Getting better.
I was taking stock of all of this yesterday as I looked at my possible classes for next semester. I was getting pissy that I couldn't find a class that wasn't fitting into my teaching/work schedule. Then, putting my whine down, I realized that the shit line up was a gift to continue working to build my schedule. I was basically planning to overwhelm myself one more time, and flat out can't due to PSU's limited schedule.
A thank you to something I don't really believe in: Thank you, fate, for making sure that I don't overwork myself anymore. Well...any more than I already will with the activities I already invest time into.
Challenges: I realized today that I should post a weeks worth of challenges. I don't have time every day to post a blog entry. So we'll start from today and go from there. And remember, this is what you do ON TOP of the other normal exercise you do as is in your day.
Today (Friday): 50 Push-ups. Keeping it easy for a couple weeks.
Sat: 20 - 50meter sprints. I love these.
Sun: 50 Crunches
Mon: 50 Pull ups
Tues: 50 X-Jacks (jumping jacks on a diagonal, switching each time from left to right)
Wed: 50 Burpees (I love these. I honestly don't know why folks don't)
Thurs: 50 alternating lunges (these suck. Enjoy)
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