Willpower is a currency that you have only so much of daily. Popular phrase is "fucks," as in: "Leroy had zero fucks to give that day."
Let's say you start your day with 100 standard-galactic fucks (warning, there is math, though basic, and that is NOT the man you married). In your mind, let fucks be represented by a shiny platinum coin (the shape is up to you). Everything you do that costs energy/effort costs fucks.
You wake up fully rested, 100 fucks in pocket. You make breakfast (in theory), shower (unless you're disgusting), brush your teeth etc. Your morning routine and all that, if you have one. For most people this is a minimal effort. Let's call it 5 fucks. You now have 95.
Most of us have a 9 to 5er (I don't), so we bolt off there. I'ma skip the majority of your theoretic day because what you do with your time is your damned business. But you do look good in that black shirt and beanie, Mr. Marsh. Mmmmm. Yes.
A workday takes a lot out of you. I say that because it's true. Even if you... scratch that. ESPECIALLY if you are so lucky as to have a job in your passion or one that fulfills you. But let's go off of the assumption that your 9-5 is just there to pay the bills and so forth. It's a huge chunk of your day, your effort, and as the average person is awake but 16 hours a day, it costs a large bit-o-fucks just to work. It's a fourth of your day, never mind if you don't sleep too well or miss breakfast, so we're calling it at least 40-50 fucks depending on how you feel about it. It costs more the more effort you put in AND the more tedium you feel. So we're down to roughly 45 fucks, possibly less. Not so bad.
Again, if you are not rocking a salt-mill bread and butter kinda job, this does not apply to you. It may cost you less, but generally will cost you much more as you will no doubt spend more energy because you... well, give a fuck about it. To be clear, I'm not writing this about you though. You're awesome. Good job landing your dream gig. Everyone else is awesome too, but in a more nose to the grindstone because you have to kind of way. Moving on.
45 fucks. It's not a ton, but there's still enough to do something. Hit the pub, relax at home, do your sport, create something, try to have sex, learn something, it's all good, and some of these things invigorate folks. Let's take into account that the average you and me does a thing. Things cost fucks. Pick your favorite, it's going to cost you at least 20 fucks. (generalizations are fun)
You now have 25. What does that mean? You have 25 out of 100. 25% of your starting willpower/energy/effort worth expending. Lots of people, especially me, forget that there are consequences when you start getting to the end of your willpower. By 25, you're already pretty exhausted. You rocked a job and a hobby all the live long day. Most people call it a night and head home with their loved ones or do the solo thing. Either way, even that costs willpower. If you have a calm situation, it's a teeny cost of let's say: 5 fucks. But if you are like so many and have a family or at least a significant other, you've gotta be at least a little ON for them. It's at least 10 fucks. AT LEAST.
So now we're down to 20 or 15 fucks. Here's when things get incredible, people watching wise. Appropriately, the lower your willpower, the less willing to deal with shit you are. Shit and fucks do not mix. Shit is not the things you've elected to do. It's fighting, it's bills, it's cleaning when you don't want to, it's simply the things you don't want to experience. Shit drains you. Shit is where we all get into trouble. We overextend our willpower and get into the red, the negative.
(cue 1950's slides, announcer voice and woodwind heavy music) When you spend more than your allotted willpower, you experience such things as depression, misplaced anger, fatigue, restless sleep, joint pain, headache and or muscle aches, confusion, decreased cognitive function and so on.
This is burn-out. Welcome to where most everyone you know lives. The average person vastly over-extends themselves into burnout. At that point, you play catch up.
If you're only getting 100 fucks a day, but you've put yourself into the red, let's say -15 fucks, you start the next day with only 85 fucks. Doesn't seem too bad, right? Then another day, and another and so on happens. Eventually you're so far in the hole that the serious versions of the afore mentioned problems happen. Sickness, clinical depression, violent outbursts, profound sadness and so on.
SHITTY THING (also a huge generalization): The average person starts with 100 fucks, but can drop almost twice that much before they lose their mind or die. You can exist in this hole for the remainder of your life and never realize where you're at. Also, you CAN raise your fucks to 150 in theory, but it usually takes having the perfect life you've always wanted, and even then, most folks only have so much excess energy every once-in-a-while. Having a daily 150 is rare.
You CAN do things to try and recover the fucks you spend in your every day. Grab a pint, that's like... 5 fucks (that's A pint, maybe TWO, not a bender. Benders cost fucks. Lots of fucks). Go to the spa! It'll give you like 20 fucks! Laugh, cry, experience emotion. It's healing! Cathartic! Releasing emotions, negative or positive, is a very good thing and will give you a variable but valuable raise in fucks.
Most importantly, learn to manage your time. Doing too much? Always in the red? Stop doing something! Knock one thing off and see how you feel. I guarantee you'll breathe a tad easier. We are still simple creatures, we humans. On the real, we should have a job and a close nit friend group on the average and a hobby just based on our attention span. It's a solid trio. Work pays the bills (food and shelter), hobbies fulfill your creative/destructive needs (control), and friends provide pretty much everything else (the tribe).
Most folks (me too more than I want to admit), think that there is something missing from their life, a cog or spring that would help their life run smoother or more efficient. Sometimes this is true. Maybe you do need a new job or a hobby that drives you or a wife/husband/paramour/buddy/animal to fill the void. Maybe that's true. More than likely, you are tired, depressed, unfulfilled because you don't appreciate what you have.
In general, it is easier to destroy than it is to create. I think it's funny that it's so hard for most people to drop activities/jobs/relationships with that in mind. But that's a whole different post/two hour long uplifting seminar and/or weekend conference. That's assigning worth and meaning and attachment and that's for later.
It's hard sometimes. No judgement. I load myself down with tasks, jobs and blah blah blah and come out the other side depressed. It feels like I spend 200 fucks a day sometimes. When you really get down to it, most of us will die after around 80 years. It sucks. It terrifies me. So there is no real reason to keep latched to something that would make harder that precious little life you've got. I need to remind myself sometimes that there are always other jobs, other hobbies, other friends and other loves.
Make time for yourself and you'll find that dealing with shit isn't so difficult, that you have more fucks to give and, jokes aside, you'll find that you are happier. That's the dream, really, isn't it? To be happy? To enjoy what time you've been given? Focus on that, the things that make you happy. Spend more time, more fucks, on those things.
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