Why Did We Stop Playing?

I remember the days; high rights, low lefts even-stevens and fades.

I had a very specific way I needed to play Until Dawn: with actual humans in the room, actual friends butts in chairs / on sofas, actually present. Horror movies are meant to be seen with people you can scream with, hide with and with whom you can share sage advice (don't go in there HE'S BEHIND THE DOOR!). The same holds true for me with Horror games.

But remember when all games were like that? Remember the days of a room filled with your folk and the circus of advice, support and ridicule you'd endured? Junk food being we forced into our growing guts, jones soda and jolt to keep us awake (we used lipton brisk ice tea because it was smooth enough to drink in under five seconds, one can, and had the caffeine count of two cups of coffee. Health).  

Gaming was a social thing, despite what the mid-late nineties PSA garbage would have you believe.

SIDE NOTE: I remember this ad. It was ridiculous for so many reasons, never mind the phallic demon head near the guys dick. Games make you not want your smokin' hot significant other? Have you met a gamer? Do you know how horny we are? What do you think we think about all day? Answer: sex and killin' goblins...Sometimes sex goblins (ps I googled sex-goblin. RIP search history).

I looked forward to Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil and Final Fantasy 7 with the boys more than damn near anything we would do. And it wasn't like those were all co-op games! Especially Final Fantasy 7! Its an epic RPG that made grown ass men cry, yet we shared that pain together. A band of brothers bonding over pixelated trauma (RIP Aeris...cause her name was NOT Aerith at the time). 

When and why did the switch happen?

I know it was a quiet change and was due to convenience. I know that more people own systems now than when I was but my early teens. I can see and experience the benefits of remote online play with your crew, but it is just not the same.

The switch happened because it's easy to pop on a system, see that Allen is online playing something you both like and drop in and out of the game as you see fit. There's far less responsibility to keep it going. You don't kill the game for Allen if you drop out at some point.

It comes down to the energy of the room for me. I can remember the times I've played online with friends who weren't physically present in the room. But I couldn't tell you specifics beyond what probably happened in-game. 

I've got a library of vivid memories of entire gaming days with the
crew. Lan parties and the carcinogenic smell of burning dust on monitors. The taste of taco-bell grande meals and entire cases of grape soda laid low in the span of a single day. Jokes and insults and high-fives and don't even get me started on the social experiment that was the arcade!

Both are good, but like any live activity, gaming is made better by sharing the experience with your folk. It's a story you now directly share with another person, thus creating a bond that could bridge some social gap, especially if one of you isn't necessarily a gamer (example: a couple where one is and one isn't said gamer. Cliches are great!). It opens a dialogue, usually of things not game related that were inspired by the content or even just the visceral experience of sharing a something with a someone.

I had to play this game with my best friend because it wouldn't have been as fun or memorable without her, and because I flat out wanted to.

A part of me craves those days of sitting and gaming with friends. It is what hooked me on games more than the games themselves.

I've mentioned dealing with depression. This helped me deal as a kid, teen and adult when it felt like I was alone in a room packed with people. It was an easy way to get close to others and stumble in to territory we would have otherwise not discussed. From sex to strength to human rights to advertising to violence and so on and so forth. Nothing was off limits because, in a way, we were experiencing these things via our chosen activity. And because video games cover such a broad spectrum of topics and genre and so on, we were never in short supply of conversational fuel.

It ends up being the same question that people ask about being physical: why did we stop playing?

I love technology and do almost everything on the internet because that's how the world is wired, for the most part. But I think I'm finally seeing the disconnect first-hand and I'm seeing it in video games, of all places! Don't get me wrong, I've watched it for some time in our general society, I'm not blind, I just thought that games were safe. It's ignorant, I know. It's flat out close minded and a tad stupid of me to think that. I admit it. I'm growing.

Story time: I didn't sleep but two hours last night. I had some severe anxiety and the ol gray matter wouldn't rest. It happens. When it happens I get lonely. My depression manifests as loneliness first, followed by self-worth usually with my eye judgmentally on my physical self. I went on to my various social media outlets to calm down and find connection, like a grand number of folk do, but I didn't feel connected by the end. Sure felt lonelier though. Imagine being a fisherman who casts their line, again and again, but no bounty is brought home. It starves you emotionally. Even when I get to talk to my folk in the late AM via messenger or text and so on, it doesn't feel the same as feeding on their energy, sharing the experience in the physical world.

DISCLAIMER: I love the internet and tech and I'm not attacking it. If it works for you: you do you. This is about me. There. Ass official covered.

It was so important to me that I play this game with my people physically there because I can't keep being sad or lonely and finding a temporary bandage in my activities alone. I am a social creature, and while I don't believe in finding your full happiness solely in another person, emotional healing is made far easier by sharing, commiserating, laughing and so on with another human. So, Kindell (Jesus Feist), I love you and can't wait to play more of this. It was so much fun and meant so much to me.

ADVICE: Are you a gamer who wants to share gaming, a thing you love, with a friend, family member or Boo (a person you love)? Try presenting it as a movie like experience and discus it with them. They may or may not want to play, but they might want to learn or experience it all the same. Make it a social activity that can open up new dialogue between you. It doesn't need to be deep, it can just be about how pretty the game is, which leads you to talking about hiking perhaps, then a day doing something the other person might call their wheel house. Maybe they do find they want to play! Then you've got a homie to game with! Maybe you play something like Journey or The Last of Us and a dialogue about loss and the future opens. You've got options!

My point falls where it usually does: be passionate about your passions (best sentence ever), and share with another person not just the single aspect of said passion (killing it, sentence gods). Share with them everything, dig deeper and find meaning, find common ground, work to understand one another via your afore mentioned passions (mic drop, word smith, rap god).

Deep or shallow, the things we love will bring us all closer together. It's through curiosity and questioning that we can bridge gaps, through the sharing of and listening to our various passions that we can allow others to learn, and through learning about the people around us that the world gets smaller, more intimate, less scary and far more rich. Give yourself and your people the opportunity to understand you, and have the patience and love to help them understand where you're coming from.

Take the time to share, listen and learn.

Have the best day you've ever had.