Day 21 - Broken

Sick again.

I find it ironic that I get sick regularly when I'm incredibly stressed, and then again when I am no longer stressed. Is ironic the work I want? Shitty! That's the word! Shitty! Sick as a dog as I type all this mess. On the bright side, I respond to healthy choices a damn sight faster than I did when I was as stressed as could be. It's good. Even when I'm wrecked I still feel good about my general state. Dig it. Still though, I have this fantasy that I wont ever be sick again. That my healthy choices will keep me good and robust for as long as I like. Also, I have a fantasy that the world turns into a video game a-la Sword Art Online, HabitRPG and the like. I know that won't happen. I swear. Yeah. Won't happen. Cough, sputter, IT WOULD BE SO COOL!

I can deal with nausea and weakness, but the fog and confusion that I've wrote about lately sure is a true bane. I hate feeling stupid, and with this version of whatever I've got, a low IQ and remedial motor control come as a package deal. Video games, puzzles and the like really help keep me focused, but conversation, books and stories are a real bitch this week. I've also lost a great deal of patience; no surprise there. I feel like I can kick its ass in a weekend, so here we go.

Bad Glee! Bad! Shame on you! What does the fox say? How did you screw that up? I... *facepalm**face into desk**face into desk again*

I get to sign up for classes now! Not 100% sure of what to take yet, but still excited that I actually get to improve on skills that will really serve my dreams, and move past a real stigma I've had. Full disclosure: I've been very self-conscious to pick up a pencil and get drawing for about 8 years now. Stopped drawing because, during the second weakest part of my life, I was consistently made fun of by dick-holes who are now probably homeless. Like I said, I was weak, so I took what they said to heart and stopped doing something I love. So, 8 years later, I'm starting up again and committing to raising my skills for me and me alone. I am wussy, hear me roar!

Still can't stop thinking about Hunger Games 2. I can not wait until I go see it again. I honestly don't remember the last movie I saw more than once in the theater, but I'd happily drop a chunk o cash to take another gander at ol' Catching Fire one more again.

Okay. Head's fogging up again. Grabbing food, drinking more water, then hopefully sleeping soundly. Oh and Sickness, you can eat a horse turd. That is all. Thanks.