Day 13 - Who Needs Sleep

I am the worlds worst actual sleeper. I'm not comparing myself with insomniacs, just with those who can squeeze out a wink here and there. When I sleep, such as last night, I get an average of 7 hours in time unconscious. Those 7 hours are filled with nightmares, constant wake ups and general shit restlessness. In reality, in those 7 hours, I'm probably getting closer to 3 max. I'm melting here. My joints ache, my head is cloudy and yet when I lay down for sleep after a long day, I'm not tired. Fuck.

To combat this irritating lack of rest, I'm trying a more stringent schedule of physical what not. I mean, there's a fairly good chance that I'm just anxious due to excess energy. Nothing big. Heading back to crossfit tomorrow, finally, so I need sleep tonight. Real sleep, sweet Moses. And again we come to HabitRPG, which is now an impressive color wheel of tasks filled with even more physical exertion.

If I'm being honest, I hate my body. Can't stand the way I look. I'm strong, fast and more flexible than the average guy. I'm very smart and okay looking without any real debilitating issues save for an in-rehab shoulder and knee (nothing severe). But I look in the mirror and find that the way I look does not match the things I'm able to do and it pisses me off. My vanity is just strong enough to effect me and I would love nothing more than to bitch slap it. Better yet, I just want to be stronger, faster, more flexible and lookin' fuckin' fine. Bawla shiet, yo! Kids still talk like that, right? Meh. I hope not.

The real of all of this is I'm 28 and ready to be the man I've always known I can be. Which is a
warrior-monk-poet-philosopher-teacher-inspiration guru thing. I will take up my octagonal staff and lay waste to the demons of hell! Fuck them bitches! It's their time!...Okay, in this scenario, the octagonal staff is really my potential, while the demons of hell that I might be laying waste to are more figurative, truly being my languid attitude and/or years spent slacking and otherwise doing jack.

I've got that weird buzzing behind my eyes and a taste not unlike bunk and pennies on my tongue. Two things: 1. I have a ton to do and I'm a tad blech about doing them though they will be done. 2. When they are done I will make bank in HabitRPG and can buy a new helmet and probably a shield. I care.

I blame and thank Sena for my recent intake in vegetarian cuisine. It's great, affordable and I feel good...mostly...after eating. Now here's the rub: I'm too active to not eat meat and I kinda forgot that until the buzzing headache this morning. Protean and animal fat makes me feel good. Greens too kale is awesome, but dammit I sure need some animal flesh! Did you ever watch Looney Toons? Remember when they'd be stranded on a desert island or stricken with poverty and one would look to the other to find them transformed into a ham, hot dog turkey leg or steak? Sorry Sena, you're looking like a burrito right now. If I did resort to cannibalism and did happen to murder and eat her, it would be doing so to a vegetarian. It would be therefor be both healthier and natural, like kobe or applewood, and ironic. Now's the time to mention I am kidding. I think. It's hard to tell right now, through the headache and hunger. No I am. *nods* *shakes head* *nods* *and so on and so on*