It's raining outside, which means I hear Clair de Lune. It's the smell of rain in the trees and on the dirt that reminds me of this song, but only in the morning/afternoon. I had a habit of listening to classical music on my morning drive to high school. As it is Oregon and I grew up in Sandy, there was plenty of rain. Like clockwork Clair de Lune would come on every morning. It smells and sounds like my morning commute in my childhood. Even when surrounded by noise, screaming even (I live downtown), I still breathe a little easier when it rains because of this.
When I read The White Rose, I hear Chopin. In large part because the stage direction calls for his music specifically. It's my favorite play. I can't read or hear the lines from it without hearing them backed by ballade number 1 in g. Hearing it fills me with pride for something I was a part of and something that can transport me to another place so effortlessly.
Whenever I eat bread and drink coffee I feel like I'm reading The King-killer Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss. http://www.patrickrothfuss.com/content/books.asp
I spent hours at my favorite diner, Jam on Hawthorne, reading the first book. I ordered the same meal, Brian's Hash add spinach and avocado w/ rye toast and jam, and always a cup of bottomless coffee. I always have the same waitress/bartender, Patty.
Reading any work by Rothfuss, his blog included: I can taste coffee and bread and smell a fresh plate of eggs and hash-browns.
When I play the game-series Ratchet and Clank, I hear the album The Carnival by Wyclef Jean. Usually Yele more than anything. I listened to that CD almost exclusively while I grinded for sewer gems in game two and three. I can't not hear it whenever I boot it up and it's especially loud during any remotely underground scene.
When I listen to the Alabama Shakes I think about my father and Molly for their first album, Boys and Girls. Molly suggested them and Pop and I jammed to them. I think of Kindell whenever I hear their second album, Sound and Color, especially the title track. I got her the vinyl of it. It's my absolute favorite CD. It just barely edges out Justin Timberlake's 20/20 experience 1 and 2, and that's saying something, lemme tell ya.
Maybe that's where I should go with this post? Sound and Color? There are so many things that fill us or take from us but always remind us of this and that, that at one point or another, has rooted itself into who we are. Sometimes it's mild and small, like remembering the smell of breakfast. Sometimes it's big, like making you feel like your closest people are behind you when there's only you in the room. Sometimes it's bigger, like remembering terrible things when you hear a happy song. I remember being fired from my childhood dream job while hearing Express Yourself and dancing to it after a great week working at a summer camp.
Side: I was called into the admin office just as the song ended and was then fired. The person implicating me wasn't even strong enough to show up to the firing (may you rot in Hell). That's a whole other post filled with much needed catharsis. Hearing that song reminds me of how I was bullied in that job, how unfairly I was treated, and how I was flat out told that I was... how did she put it? Useless. But again, that's another post.
Sometimes the things we experience via sense memory were once devastating, like when you hear your song with your big ex. Winter by Joshua Radin for me. The second is usually I Remember You by Nat King Cole. It reminds me of good things from college.
Sometimes the things that should wreck you, instead make you smile. Hearing Have You Seen Her by the Chi-Lights was playing when my Dad had his first heart attack and had to go to the hospital in the morning light. When I hear it I'm reminded of how strong he is, and kind.
When I hear Let it Be by the Beatles, I think about my late-cousin, Will. He recorded his 10 year old self singing that and made a cassette of it. I found it and made it digital. It's got all the good feels.
Sometimes it's the tiny things that fill you with the greatest memories. For me it's usually food.
"Artisanal pizza" will always remind me of being in Auze France and Herrang Sweden. It will always make me think of my friends Mike and Emily Lenneville. We travelled and trained there together. Some of my favorites stories and most powerful memories are with those two.
Any kind of soup reminds me of my childhood home. I feel like that's the case for a lot of people. It's a comfort food, it's simple, and for me I feel safe when I eat it. It quiets my mind and I'm taken back to my parents home and the wonderful silence that surrounds you. It's reassuring.
"I need..." is easily one of the most ill-used prompts for things that we usually really don't. I damn sure over-use it, and it's usually for q video game or a random item of some kind (more than likely a pair of fine-ass sneakers). Those are wants. Needs are actually incredibly simple, because we need only a handful of things as an animal species.
We, and by "we" I mean humans (homo sapiens, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human), need three things: sustenance, shelter and socialization. Our needs, yes, have modern adaptations, but they are still the same as any other creature on the planet (speaking very generally about mammals with pack/tribe mentality). In my quest for self-actualization (if, in fact, one can reach a level of such, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-actualization), I have "needed" so many things. So I decided to make a handy list that someone else, countless someones, had no doubt made before me. This is no guide to nutrition or lifestyle in terms of what you should do/eat/be etc. This is just a simple list of basic, no-frills needs.
I will also be including wants, because that shit is solid gold. All wants expressed here are mine. Enjoy.
Recognizing your needs V wants is huge. It will help you go from surviving to thriving (tm...by someone, I'm sure).
SUSTENANCE
NEED
Food and water. Pretty easy: your body needs fuel to run, and the worst thing you can do is deprive it of sweet, sweet sustenance. On the most basic, you need to fill that gut of yours with water and whatever your diet is. Do some diets promote healthier mind and body? Yes! But that's a completely different post. A good chunk of your need for water can be obtained through the food you eat if you have a proper assortment of greens, but most of us don't. I highly recommend learning to cook no matter what your diet is. It's fun (eventually and especially with people), usually healthier and it makes your wallet smile.
For water, I have to remind myself to hydrate constantly, which is stupid. I should just drink water because it is what most of my body is made of and is required to survive. To make it easier, I keep a 32oz contigo brand water-bottle next to me when I'm working/writing/arting and so on (http://www.gocontigo.com/water-bottles/). I make it as attractive as I can to trick myself into thinking it will be fun to drink from it: It's green (my favorite color), has a nifty grey top and has stickers of things I love on it. Weeeeee, water! Fun AND delicious! Really though, if you want to be anything (artist, athlete, banker, whatever), just remember to hydrate.
WANT
I hate water. I do. Well, I love swimming in it, and I love rain, and if I were a bender I'd be a water-bender, but as far as a drink goes: bored, next please. Tea is my jam, usually of the green variety, and my favorite is gyokuro matcha or a home made chai with real milk. I'm also a big fan of my sprits, and tend to favor whiskey, especially rye, with my current favorite being Bulleit Rye (http://www.bulleit.com/). I guarantee that I just originally tried it because all of my heroes liked whiskey of some kind, especially Frank Sinatra. I even brew my own beer (though only 1 out of three batches has been successful due to some unforeseen shite. You learn and grow, blah). I love beer. I like whiskey, but I love my beer. And my king pint was, is and will continue to be a good ol' Guinness (http://www.guinness-storehouse.com/en/Index.aspx).
Food? I love it all. If I had to pick one cuisine to stick with over all others for the rest of my life: Japanese. No question. It's perfect to me, from sushi to izakaya to snacks to beverages and so on and so on. I love Japan for many things, but food is #1. Cake. Also cake.
SHELTER
NEED
A home. Simple. Whatever it takes to have one, do it and get a place to hang your hat. I'm very lucky and have a good apartment in a decent part of Portland, which is a fairly chill town to begin with. A home provides safety and security and a much needed escape when times get shitty/real or when you just need down time. You already know this. The part that people don't talk about that much is the safety part, which has always been odd to me. I was always told that I needed a place to stay, but the need for a safe living area was never overly emphasized. It's all about location. I highly recommend getting a smaller place in a safe neighborhood well before I'd send someone to a shit-ball part of town with a swank condo, but that's just me. Whatever safety is to you (quiet neighborhood, city downtown, hustle and bustle or white picket-fence), seek that out and get it however you can.
Room mates are a funny thing. I typically prefer to live alone, but sometimes that's just not an option. When you are looking for your shelter, sometimes you need a few buddies or maybe randos to afford the one you want. Most people act like they're fine having room mates, or that they can share a place with just about anyone, but those most are really just some. We are still animals and we are territorial as all hell. If you don't jibe with someone, get yourself or kick them the fuck out. It's that simple. When I hear people complain about their roomies, I'm always curious as to why they don't do the latter or the former. I'm usually met with some version of "I can't afford to move out," which could be true, yes, but is more than likely bullshit. You're afraid. Been there, know how you feel and it sucks, but the only thing to be afraid of in that situation is not being honest and staying mired in human shit. Live where and with whom you actually want. In the case of room mates, want is a need in my opinion.
WANT
I see myself in something of a craftsman home with heavy Japanese architecture elements. Clean, efficient, maybe two stories but definitely open. Lately I've been musing about the container home (https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=container+home&FORM=HDRSC2) as being a part of it. I want it to be surrounded by green, with fig and Japanese cherry trees. I want a Japanese bath and a stone shower inside, a bamboo shower outside and a hot-spring of sorts. A dance studio is a must. Really, a space that can be used to train dance, martial arts and can be used for gatherings wins. I can see having the "dojo" double as a movie/gaming room, but usually I like to have training rooms remain that, and have a second space, the living room, be where I keep my big-ass tv and various gaming rigs. Most importantly, I need a large kitchen to entertain from and stretch out in. Counter-tops are negotiable but gas burners are a must, as is an old, European style dining table (rugged and solid, not fancy). Also a small brewery and bar. Yes. A must.
SOCIALIZATION
NEED
You need your people. Some don't. Some can go it alone their whole lives and be solid. I'm not one of those people. I need positive, uplifting folks who like me as much as I like them. I am currently lucking out here, as my friend-base is incredible. Your friends are a reflection of you and how you see yourself. Think you don't deserve many good things in life? Is your self-esteem in the toilet? Then you no doubt will have surrounded yourself with friends who take your energy and crap on your soul. Usually, a person has shit friends (people who tear them down), because they didn't choose like-minded souls. It should be your first priority to have cohorts who are likeminded. Yes, it could just be that you happened to find people who flat-out suck, but more than likely the ones you hang with just don't think like you and aren't driven in the same way. I'm not saying your people need to be you, but they should be similar. I, for example, get extremely excited about the projects that I do and the things that I love. I therefor surround myself with people who do the same, especially about the things that I love! Is is selfish? Yes and no. It is, but if you are getting support and energy from your people about your projects, no doubt you're giving that same energy and support back. It's win win. You don't need to have people who want the same wants that you do, but you do need friends who support in the same way that you do.
WANT
I'm pretty much perfect here. My friends and family are incredible and I have an amazing support crew. The only real want that I have for my social aspect is to be able to help my people realize their dreams.
THE 4th NEED
NEED
There is, of course, hidden and hard to find, NEED #4: Purpose. We need to feel connected to the world, as our minds expand and evolve, we need to feel like we've done something with our lives. Purpose can only be realized when we've taken care of our other three needs. Purpose can be anything, but we usually mark it as what we will do for the rest of our lives, and more than not: our job. Is purpose always your job? Hell no. More often than not, it has nothing to do with what you do for a living. There's probably a small handful that woke up one morning saying: I, Marcus Everyschmuck, will repair AC units, as it is my purpose. More often than not, your job is your meal ticket. Your purpose is whatever you want. That's it. It's whatever you truly love and want to do with your life, the thing that makes you the happiest and makes you fulfilled. It's different for everyone. Some are fathers/mothers, some bake, some fight, some run track, paint, sing, make money, fuck, write and so on.
For me, it's entertaining. No matter the thing I do, I feel the need, the drive, to make people feel something, to look into themselves and truly experience the world inside and out. That's what entertaining is to me. Sometimes its as simple as a much needed smile, or as grand as helping someone else gain true confidence in their own abilities and maybe even find their purpose. I, myself, want to be happy. My happiness is achieved through helping others enjoy even a fraction of the things the world has to offer.
WANT
To be happy with my loved ones. To be the best that I can be in the things that I spend my time doing. If life is a contest, I am currently winning.
This post was not inspired by the OK Go song "Needing and Getting," but it does have an amazing video that threatens to inspire. Observe:
I am the worlds worst actual sleeper. I'm not comparing myself with insomniacs, just with those who can squeeze out a wink here and there. When I sleep, such as last night, I get an average of 7 hours in time unconscious. Those 7 hours are filled with nightmares, constant wake ups and general shit restlessness. In reality, in those 7 hours, I'm probably getting closer to 3 max. I'm melting here. My joints ache, my head is cloudy and yet when I lay down for sleep after a long day, I'm not tired. Fuck.
To combat this irritating lack of rest, I'm trying a more stringent schedule of physical what not. I mean, there's a fairly good chance that I'm just anxious due to excess energy. Nothing big. Heading back to crossfit tomorrow, finally, so I need sleep tonight. Real sleep, sweet Moses. And again we come to HabitRPG, which is now an impressive color wheel of tasks filled with even more physical exertion.
If I'm being honest, I hate my body. Can't stand the way I look. I'm strong, fast and more flexible than the average guy. I'm very smart and okay looking without any real debilitating issues save for an in-rehab shoulder and knee (nothing severe). But I look in the mirror and find that the way I look does not match the things I'm able to do and it pisses me off. My vanity is just strong enough to effect me and I would love nothing more than to bitch slap it. Better yet, I just want to be stronger, faster, more flexible and lookin' fuckin' fine. Bawla shiet, yo! Kids still talk like that, right? Meh. I hope not.
The real of all of this is I'm 28 and ready to be the man I've always known I can be. Which is a
warrior-monk-poet-philosopher-teacher-inspiration guru thing. I will take up my octagonal staff and lay waste to the demons of hell! Fuck them bitches! It's their time!...Okay, in this scenario, the octagonal staff is really my potential, while the demons of hell that I might be laying waste to are more figurative, truly being my languid attitude and/or years spent slacking and otherwise doing jack.
I've got that weird buzzing behind my eyes and a taste not unlike bunk and pennies on my tongue. Two things: 1. I have a ton to do and I'm a tad blech about doing them though they will be done. 2. When they are done I will make bank in HabitRPG and can buy a new helmet and probably a shield. I care.
I blame and thank Sena for my recent intake in vegetarian cuisine. It's great, affordable and I feel good...mostly...after eating. Now here's the rub: I'm too active to not eat meat and I kinda forgot that until the buzzing headache this morning. Protean and animal fat makes me feel good. Greens too kale is awesome, but dammit I sure need some animal flesh! Did you ever watch Looney Toons? Remember when they'd be stranded on a desert island or stricken with poverty and one would look to the other to find them transformed into a ham, hot dog turkey leg or steak? Sorry Sena, you're looking like a burrito right now. If I did resort to cannibalism and did happen to murder and eat her, it would be doing so to a vegetarian. It would be therefor be both healthier and natural, like kobe or applewood, and ironic. Now's the time to mention I am kidding. I think. It's hard to tell right now, through the headache and hunger. No I am. *nods* *shakes head* *nods* *and so on and so on*
