If you're me and you live in the US, then popular opinion is that the world fucking sucks. And maybe you're not wrong, but you're sure as fuck not right.
There is plenty of shit going on and wrong, both of the horse and dog variety. Our government? It's at least 50 to 60% dumpster fucked bully. Cool. Okay. I concede that to you! Our leadership is in the toilet and getting a solid flush to the shit cavern below with little to no escape for a solid few years in the least! Today I learned a term: affluenza. Look it up. Click the word. Again, totally giving you that one. The rich get richer, get off and get over. Cool. Life is hard, yeah, I get it. So go do something about it! Fuck!
If things are so terrible, then fight them! Facebook is great, but it's not the only place to express your opinions. Do it in person! March! Or talk! Better yet, WAY better yet, go create as many positive changes in your tiny part of the universe with like minded people.
Certain things are hard, obviously - medicine and education. I would hope that you know that I know that we're getting proper fucked with health care, but that's nothing new. Still sad, but not a shocker that the people of the US are getting hard borked by our government over something that could only benefit our god damned government. It's ridiculous that having healthy, productive, educated citizens is even an issue! There's plenty of other countries that show us how to do this like fucking champions and we are totally capable of following suit. But aside from that - and yes, education and medical coverage are so very fucking important - we can control most of our universe.
Here's how: be nice. It is that simple. It is. No one has ever been fucked over by being nice to someone, only by someone else being fucking terrible. But just because you cough, does that mean you're going to stop breathing? Be nice! The world is full of issues and problems, so be fucking nice!
This is why I hate social media. It can be such an amazing tool for good and positive change, but usually I log on to my facebook or twitter and I'm immediately met with some complaint of how shitty someones day is (not so much my insta because I really only follow people who post pictures of abs, food or video games...moving on). And you totally have the right to do that! You totally have the right to vent and rant about your issues just like I'm doing now. But after you've ranted and vented, get out and go do something nice! Go be productive and experience something positive. Be fucking nice! Want to make the world a better place? Be nice! Help people! It'll make you feel better and will most likely net you a positive return.
Want to look at it in a more self serving way? There's nothing wrong with that! We're only around for roughly a century, so looking out for you and yours is totally cool. Being good to others, helping others, totally serves you! You could get a new friend, a new business contact or even some sort of material reward, just for being a decent human! It takes next to nothing to do this.
See someone walking down the street with a cool hat? Tell them "Cool hat!" Or like a joke someone told in the grocery line? Laugh with them! Those are the easy things that anyone can do.
It takes no energy to be nice, relatively speaking. You ever have a fight with a loved one? Or even just look too much at our sensationalized media? Did you find yourself being exhausted after? I bet you did! It drains us to be negative, to be angry, to be sad! Doing something good, doing things that make you happy, it feeds you! It gives you a proper endorphin rush and you're ready for more afterward. It only serves you to be nice.
Be nice. Fuck. Do it! Just be nice! Listen to people and celebrate them and celebrate yourself. Holy shit celebrate yourself! Depression is the most common mental ailment, but can be dealt with if only we see the beauty in ourselves and others. Starting with yourself is key.
Be nice to yourself. You may not know it - which sucks - but you're probably pretty fucking cool. You're probably good at something. You're probably beautiful to someone. Everybody is somebodys everything, to quote Chance. Nobody is nothing. I don't give a shit what your background is, you are probably hauling some kind of interesting something. Be proud of that. Your story is amazing because you exist. And if you feel like shit, like you don't matter, like you're worthless, I'll listen and I'll help you feel like a part of the universe.
Be nice. When you listen to someone, you validate them, you make them feel real, a part of the world, a part of the universe, and there is almost nothing more valuable or empowering than that. Be nice. I'm begging you, be nice.
Alone we are amazing! But together we are mighty, we are unstoppable, we are truly powerful!
Be nice. Get off or get on your social media and make someones day or go physically make something. Your community needs a well dug? Go help them dig it. Your friends needs help moving? Shit, as much as that sucks, help if you have the time. You'll get stories out of it and they'll probably support you when you need it.
Be nice. The world is random, be nice!
Have the best day you've ever had.
I love you and there's nothing you can do about it!
Andrew
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Friday, May 5, 2017
Friday, August 28, 2015
PAX Prime Day 1 / Professional Entertainment
DISCLAIMER: This post was me figuring a few things out in my head. It's a tad awkward here and there.
It's extremely valuable to absorb everything you can in your chosen field. So I went to PAX again.
I dream to entertain. I am also a nerd, a gamer, a geek and so forth. This is also the only time in any of my professional careers (of which I have had many) where I have tried my best.
I aim to meld the things that I can already do with a crowd/genre that I love, that has otherwise been left as another part of myself.
I have a great deal of inspiration around me in my closest people/the people to whom I look up to the most.
Today was the first day of PAX Prime. I went last year, but I wasn't sure how to utilize the information/spectacle that I was being bombarded by/with. This is the largest trade show I have ever been to (rumor being that numbers have reached the 80,000 attendee mark this year), and those numbers are not something you can prepare yourself for. 75,000 is roughly the size of Redskin Stadium (now Fed-ex field). Now imagine the entire stadium of similarly vocal, dare I say, zealous fans actively on the crawl that everyone adopts during conventions. It's daunting and exhilarating, but I'm getting off track.
My point is that I had no direction last year, and I have found direction this year. I love this field of expression. I'm a dancer and a writer and actor and so on and so forth, but I most definitely need this other aspect, this tribe of nerds in my life as a primary.
What makes me so sure of my desired placement is the celebrity. Not the fame, but the actual celebrities themselves, the folks who have already entered into the professional realm. I look for mentors. It's an easy, obvious observation. I've found my best in my friends, father and mother, but not in professionals in my other fields. This isn't to say that I don't respect and/or look up to those in dance, acting and so on. I have plenty of people I admire. The differential is the ego and presentation of that ego.
Before anything, I need to clarify that ego is healthy, to a degree. You did good, you celebrate. Good on you. Moving on.
My experience in the arts is with a great many folks who make it a habit to talk shit and boast beyond what is necessary. I'll probably go into great detail and specifics at some point. I'm getting off track a little...again.
There is something about the type of professionalism in the celebrities that I have chosen as "mine" in the gaming/nerd crowd. It's matter of fact. They seem to understand their position. They understand the prestige, the fragility and the value of their fans. I admire that and I want to be that kind of professional.
Today I hit a panel with Kindell that was Youtube Gaming, focusing on Game Grump's Aaron, PrestonPlayz, Shadypenguin and captainSparkles. (links are below) These people have over ten million subscribers combined. I have six. Moving on. It was your standard "tell us about the struggle" panel. What I took away from it was their down to earth attitude of "I do it because I like it," and "don't do it if you don't like it." They shared neuroses of social anxiety and advice to overcome it. They shared their technical wisdom. Mostly they made sure that people saw them as just folk, people who liked creating the content they do so they kept on doing it.
I've had the opportunity to meet the people I look up to most in my desired fields, and I feel like I'm latched to the right horses. Their character draws me in. Mostly, they seem to be like me. I've never felt that before, not in "superiors."
I want to be a writer like Patrick Rothfuss, a dancer like Danial Brown, an actor like Downey Jr, a friend like my crew, a parent like my father and mother. I want to be a youtuber like JackSepticEye, a producer like Kindell, an athlete like Aaron. The list goes on.
I have started making this list of what I want to accomplish with production. It's not as long as I'd first imagined it would be. I'll post it at some point. It feels tangible. I'm also at a point where I am excited to do the work and not just go for the reward.
Here's a couple:
Publish my first book proper and make a living as a writer.
Be consistent with youtube production - gaming/nerd/arts.
I'm on a good track.
LINKS for YOUTUBERS
Game Grumps - https://www.youtube.com/user/GameGrumps
PrestonPlayz - https://www.youtube.com/user/PrestonPlayz
ShadyPenguinn - https://www.youtube.com/user/shadypenguinn
CaptainSparklez - https://www.youtube.com/user/CaptainSparklez
Jacksepticeye - https://www.youtube.com/user/jacksepticeye/featured
ChknfootTV - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOtLStn-LL5Hf-CMa1UQeVg
It's extremely valuable to absorb everything you can in your chosen field. So I went to PAX again.
I dream to entertain. I am also a nerd, a gamer, a geek and so forth. This is also the only time in any of my professional careers (of which I have had many) where I have tried my best.
I aim to meld the things that I can already do with a crowd/genre that I love, that has otherwise been left as another part of myself.
I have a great deal of inspiration around me in my closest people/the people to whom I look up to the most.
Today was the first day of PAX Prime. I went last year, but I wasn't sure how to utilize the information/spectacle that I was being bombarded by/with. This is the largest trade show I have ever been to (rumor being that numbers have reached the 80,000 attendee mark this year), and those numbers are not something you can prepare yourself for. 75,000 is roughly the size of Redskin Stadium (now Fed-ex field). Now imagine the entire stadium of similarly vocal, dare I say, zealous fans actively on the crawl that everyone adopts during conventions. It's daunting and exhilarating, but I'm getting off track.My point is that I had no direction last year, and I have found direction this year. I love this field of expression. I'm a dancer and a writer and actor and so on and so forth, but I most definitely need this other aspect, this tribe of nerds in my life as a primary.
What makes me so sure of my desired placement is the celebrity. Not the fame, but the actual celebrities themselves, the folks who have already entered into the professional realm. I look for mentors. It's an easy, obvious observation. I've found my best in my friends, father and mother, but not in professionals in my other fields. This isn't to say that I don't respect and/or look up to those in dance, acting and so on. I have plenty of people I admire. The differential is the ego and presentation of that ego.
Before anything, I need to clarify that ego is healthy, to a degree. You did good, you celebrate. Good on you. Moving on.
My experience in the arts is with a great many folks who make it a habit to talk shit and boast beyond what is necessary. I'll probably go into great detail and specifics at some point. I'm getting off track a little...again.
There is something about the type of professionalism in the celebrities that I have chosen as "mine" in the gaming/nerd crowd. It's matter of fact. They seem to understand their position. They understand the prestige, the fragility and the value of their fans. I admire that and I want to be that kind of professional.
Today I hit a panel with Kindell that was Youtube Gaming, focusing on Game Grump's Aaron, PrestonPlayz, Shadypenguin and captainSparkles. (links are below) These people have over ten million subscribers combined. I have six. Moving on. It was your standard "tell us about the struggle" panel. What I took away from it was their down to earth attitude of "I do it because I like it," and "don't do it if you don't like it." They shared neuroses of social anxiety and advice to overcome it. They shared their technical wisdom. Mostly they made sure that people saw them as just folk, people who liked creating the content they do so they kept on doing it.
I've had the opportunity to meet the people I look up to most in my desired fields, and I feel like I'm latched to the right horses. Their character draws me in. Mostly, they seem to be like me. I've never felt that before, not in "superiors."
I want to be a writer like Patrick Rothfuss, a dancer like Danial Brown, an actor like Downey Jr, a friend like my crew, a parent like my father and mother. I want to be a youtuber like JackSepticEye, a producer like Kindell, an athlete like Aaron. The list goes on.
I have started making this list of what I want to accomplish with production. It's not as long as I'd first imagined it would be. I'll post it at some point. It feels tangible. I'm also at a point where I am excited to do the work and not just go for the reward.
Here's a couple:
Publish my first book proper and make a living as a writer.
Be consistent with youtube production - gaming/nerd/arts.
I'm on a good track.
LINKS for YOUTUBERS
Game Grumps - https://www.youtube.com/user/GameGrumps
PrestonPlayz - https://www.youtube.com/user/PrestonPlayz
ShadyPenguinn - https://www.youtube.com/user/shadypenguinn
CaptainSparklez - https://www.youtube.com/user/CaptainSparklez
Jacksepticeye - https://www.youtube.com/user/jacksepticeye/featured
ChknfootTV - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOtLStn-LL5Hf-CMa1UQeVg
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Writing/Tiny Revelation
I started working on my new book, finally, ironically finding that I had already written 18 pages at some point. No idea when, but who cares. I read what I had come up with thus far, and it wasn't bad! It was pretty darn good, actually! I spent a few hours today editing what I had already done, getting back into the groove. It wasn't until the breeze from my window came in and brought me a little back to reality that I realized how much I'd missed working on my stories. Then something new came, a realization that I'd rarely experienced. The Zone. That strange state of mind that obsessives talk about when they reach a sort of "Nirvana" during their work. It had taken a long time, but I realized that I experience this feeling every, single, time I write. Every last one. I get it when I perform regularly (dancing and acting), and a couple times here and there with other things, but with writing, it never isn't perfect.
I love to write, and everything about it, the good and the bad. It is my zen, my hatred, my creative practice and my most difficult mountain to climb. It gives me everything I want out of a hobby. I love the sound of keys clicking, the brainstorm, the solitude, the collaboration, the birth and growth of a story as it stretches across the screen or page. I love the long hours, the headaches, the espresso, the inspiration music, the wine, the nervous sharing, the let down and the build up.
I could list things of that sort for hours, what I loved, whether it was pleasant, pleasurable, painful or downright awful. And that's something that I hadn't realized until now. This, writing, is what I should be doing. I crave it during a dry spell like a man would water. Everything about it gives me something. I can brainstorm for days on end, entire worlds, whole lives, systems, rules, whatever I want. I can feel powerful. Powerful...yes, truly powerful. The fact is, in order to be a good writer...or just an obsessive one, you have to have a tiny bit of a god complex. You have to love to create. Craftsmen have this in general, it's just that, with writing, you're coming up with new ideas and twisting/forming/realizing a fictional world, as opposed to physically constructing a meal or sofa or doll or painting.
I look at people as they walk down the street and I deeply want to know their stories. Who they are, if they love someone, what their good at, what they do with their time and so on. A dream of mine is to have a venue for everyone to tell their stories (more on that later).
My ranting point is really simple and something I've been looking for for some time. I have a passion that I want to be my lifelong job. I've never had that before. I love dance. It's my passion. It makes me feel alive, like I'm flying and has given me more than I can possibly say. I do not want to dedicate my life to being a professional dancer. I never really did. I just wanted to be as bad assed as I could be, and I'm well on my way. It is my escape. Writing, story-telling, they are my way to create.
Yes I want to still try everything that I possibly can, but now I have a reason to do so. I want to experience as many sights, sounds, tastes and overall sensations and occurrences as I possibly can, so as to better expand the scope and quality of that which I love, hereto pointing at writing. I will be a writer, an idea man, a story teller, and I will not let anything stop me. I've not once felt like this to any one activity or profession. I call it a win.
I love to write, and everything about it, the good and the bad. It is my zen, my hatred, my creative practice and my most difficult mountain to climb. It gives me everything I want out of a hobby. I love the sound of keys clicking, the brainstorm, the solitude, the collaboration, the birth and growth of a story as it stretches across the screen or page. I love the long hours, the headaches, the espresso, the inspiration music, the wine, the nervous sharing, the let down and the build up.
I could list things of that sort for hours, what I loved, whether it was pleasant, pleasurable, painful or downright awful. And that's something that I hadn't realized until now. This, writing, is what I should be doing. I crave it during a dry spell like a man would water. Everything about it gives me something. I can brainstorm for days on end, entire worlds, whole lives, systems, rules, whatever I want. I can feel powerful. Powerful...yes, truly powerful. The fact is, in order to be a good writer...or just an obsessive one, you have to have a tiny bit of a god complex. You have to love to create. Craftsmen have this in general, it's just that, with writing, you're coming up with new ideas and twisting/forming/realizing a fictional world, as opposed to physically constructing a meal or sofa or doll or painting.
I look at people as they walk down the street and I deeply want to know their stories. Who they are, if they love someone, what their good at, what they do with their time and so on. A dream of mine is to have a venue for everyone to tell their stories (more on that later).
My ranting point is really simple and something I've been looking for for some time. I have a passion that I want to be my lifelong job. I've never had that before. I love dance. It's my passion. It makes me feel alive, like I'm flying and has given me more than I can possibly say. I do not want to dedicate my life to being a professional dancer. I never really did. I just wanted to be as bad assed as I could be, and I'm well on my way. It is my escape. Writing, story-telling, they are my way to create.
Yes I want to still try everything that I possibly can, but now I have a reason to do so. I want to experience as many sights, sounds, tastes and overall sensations and occurrences as I possibly can, so as to better expand the scope and quality of that which I love, hereto pointing at writing. I will be a writer, an idea man, a story teller, and I will not let anything stop me. I've not once felt like this to any one activity or profession. I call it a win.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Day 18 - Idea Man vs Impatience (not an interesting post, I promise)
It gets rough for me sometimes, like anyone else, when I take a second to take stock of what I have and where I want to go. See, I'm at that annoying part where I have to start over on many things. But that's not really the problem, or at least, the tick that's irritating me. I can handle starting over, I've done it a bunch. What gets me and puts me in this, a foul mood to anyone, is not feeling like I've gained my just reward for my efforts. It's the whiney artist/business phase that everyone goes through at some point or another. The looking back at what you've done and wishing it had pushed you to a better where you are now. I am grateful for what I have, but I'm just as annoyed that I'm not quite there yet.
I apologize to those around me who have had to deal with this attitude. I do my best to stay upbeat. Today was just annoying, and so was I. I hit that level where you get so unsure of your own opinions that you question your friends opinions about your opinions. "What did you mean by that?" etc. Paranoia can suck it. I don't want it as a BFF.
My greatest gift, my best skill and my favorite thing about myself is my brain. I have a terrific brain, full of ideas, ever-churning out new ones. I am not the most organized, nor am I rich, so putting this dreams into reality is usually a real bitch or just hasn't happened yet. I'm usually met with nay-saying or bad company or dumb luck or anything whatever so-forth that monkey wrenches the works but good, and usually I can just get mad, push forward and get over it. Today's just a dwelling day. It will pass.
But how do you capitalize on a skill like "I have a million and one good ideas?" Hence: writing. But as a fledgling writer, producer, man about town so-and-so, I've yet to hit a stride or any big therein. How do you make your living off of being creative? How do you sell your ideas? I'm actually asking. I don't paint anymore, nor do I draw or do photoshop these days, so I'm heading back to school. I have more examples, but I know it just boils down to being impatient. I'm so impatient, so tired of waiting for success while still working my ass off. But you must push forward. It's either that or die, and nope, no thank you.
I need to create, I need to build, foster, teach and grow myself. I'm working on it.
I want to be Joss Whedon. Well, sorta. I love me some Joss (Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse, Avengers etc). The Whedon has a formula he loves and follows. Gruff anti-hero with a heart of gold, supernatural twist on everyday life, big evil corporation, kill off someone you love. He plays with the formula a little, but that's the gist, and it has made him a fuckin' nerdcon (nerd-icon...nerd...con...nerdcon.). He has stayed true to the creative nut that he is, and has come out pretty well so far. Or Steven King! Do I really even need to go into how many books, movies, series or money he has made? J.K. Rowling? Even the Twilight lady! I may not like the franchise, but she had a good, mostly unique idea on a classic money maker, and has done just that, made dem greens!
I know I need to just push forward. I know I need blah fuck cock blah whatever.
Writing this, I find that there is a single cloud that I'm starting to notice in my routine. Two, actually. One's easy and who cares, but the other is a slight mystery and I mean to find it. I've got a list of to-try stuff for this week in an attempt to weed out whatever it is that makes fog of my gray-matter. Shouldn't be hard. I'm betting its my living space. I just do too much here. It's my bed, my entertainment center, my office, my escape and more. Huh...I'll think on that.
I apologize to those around me who have had to deal with this attitude. I do my best to stay upbeat. Today was just annoying, and so was I. I hit that level where you get so unsure of your own opinions that you question your friends opinions about your opinions. "What did you mean by that?" etc. Paranoia can suck it. I don't want it as a BFF.
My greatest gift, my best skill and my favorite thing about myself is my brain. I have a terrific brain, full of ideas, ever-churning out new ones. I am not the most organized, nor am I rich, so putting this dreams into reality is usually a real bitch or just hasn't happened yet. I'm usually met with nay-saying or bad company or dumb luck or anything whatever so-forth that monkey wrenches the works but good, and usually I can just get mad, push forward and get over it. Today's just a dwelling day. It will pass.
But how do you capitalize on a skill like "I have a million and one good ideas?" Hence: writing. But as a fledgling writer, producer, man about town so-and-so, I've yet to hit a stride or any big therein. How do you make your living off of being creative? How do you sell your ideas? I'm actually asking. I don't paint anymore, nor do I draw or do photoshop these days, so I'm heading back to school. I have more examples, but I know it just boils down to being impatient. I'm so impatient, so tired of waiting for success while still working my ass off. But you must push forward. It's either that or die, and nope, no thank you.
I need to create, I need to build, foster, teach and grow myself. I'm working on it.
I want to be Joss Whedon. Well, sorta. I love me some Joss (Firefly, Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse, Avengers etc). The Whedon has a formula he loves and follows. Gruff anti-hero with a heart of gold, supernatural twist on everyday life, big evil corporation, kill off someone you love. He plays with the formula a little, but that's the gist, and it has made him a fuckin' nerdcon (nerd-icon...nerd...con...nerdcon.). He has stayed true to the creative nut that he is, and has come out pretty well so far. Or Steven King! Do I really even need to go into how many books, movies, series or money he has made? J.K. Rowling? Even the Twilight lady! I may not like the franchise, but she had a good, mostly unique idea on a classic money maker, and has done just that, made dem greens!
I know I need to just push forward. I know I need blah fuck cock blah whatever.
Writing this, I find that there is a single cloud that I'm starting to notice in my routine. Two, actually. One's easy and who cares, but the other is a slight mystery and I mean to find it. I've got a list of to-try stuff for this week in an attempt to weed out whatever it is that makes fog of my gray-matter. Shouldn't be hard. I'm betting its my living space. I just do too much here. It's my bed, my entertainment center, my office, my escape and more. Huh...I'll think on that.
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